Craigslist Intersects “Real America”
I have had a fair share of backlash about my continual posts about Denny’s and my coworkers. I understand people when they tell me, “This is the living Craigslist project, not the living Denny’s story.”
Honestly, I get that. But the story, my story of living off Craigslist, has taken me to a new world, one I am completely unfamiliar with. This world says nothing about Craigslist, or the Craigslist community I have continually written about, but it is a world I think you deserve to know about, if you don’t already.
Throughout my day at Denny’s I have friendly verbal assault matches with two of my cook friends, Simon and Chuck. The discussion, if you can even call it that, gets no more intellectual than a fifth-grader’s recess “yo moma” contest. Simon asks me where I went after work, suggesting explicitly that I spend my off-Denny’s hours keeping the truckers company in their cabs. I tell Chuck to give me the two links of sausage and not to confuse it with his dingy. And we go back and forth, pausing only when I run to check on my tables or when they decide it’s a good time to go for a cigarette. It’s a way to pass the time.
I have become a part of the Denny’s family. I have friends here and I have found ways to fit in, even if it means saying, “you’ll,” “vary” instead of “very” and using resoundingly southern idioms on a regular basis.
But no matter how well I start to blend—the uniform helps—I can’t stop seeing this experience for the eye-opener it is.
Some people have commented on my “naiveté,” using words like “spoiled” and “privileged,” to describe my background and perspective. To the people I work with, I’m sure they wouldn’t disagree, if they knew the truth—perhaps the same could be argued from my end about them on an intellectual level. I believe however that both would be flawed arguments. Simply put, my connection to them on the most basic human level speaks to all of us.
It doesn’t matter that I am college educated and some of them are still working on their GED, or that most of my female server friends are younger, married and already talking about having their second child. From my perspective, many of my friends at Denny’s have greater self-worth and a more positive attitude than some people who work office jobs with six figure salaries. They don’t seem to need the luxury vehicles or the fat bank accounts, though I’m sure they would appreciate having enough cash to pay for a babysitter or fix broken car bumpers.
At the same time, it does matter. It matters that I was born into a family that gave me opportunities and choices.
There is a class system in our country, and while the American narrative would have you believe that climbing the ladder is more than possible, it is unlikely that Simon or Chuck, high school education at best, have any chance of ever seeing a job that pays more than $40,000. But I am not trying to convince anyone differently and I am not judging our differences with malice. I do believe for things to change, the public needs to be shaken from its idealistic dream world. It’s time to visit the true America.
Today, Chuck and I got off work at the same time. He asked if I could give him a lift to a friend’s house that happens to live just eight blocks from me. I was happy to give him a ride.
In the car, we talked about his time in prison, nine and a half years all together, and how this time he says he is clean. “Prison aint so bad, I just don’ get to see my kids.”
Grand theft auto and burglary put Chuck behind bars several times but I can’t help but believe he has been corrected, “I should have stayed home that night,” he told me of the evening he got drunk with some Hooters girls and made a quick run to the liquor store, the closed liquor store. “It was fun while it lasted, but I should have stayed home.”
He didn’t, the cops came and the result was a five year sentence, two of which he served in a state prison. All of this came up because this afternoon I called Chuck a bitch. Of course, it was not far from the typical compliments we heave at each other, but for a guy coming out of prison, “Being called a bitch aint cool dude.”
Naturally I was curious about prison life and Chuck didn’t hold back. He told me of the more than 10 fights he got into and how he didn’t really affiliate with any of the gangs. “I get along better with black guys because I play ball.” Again, I don’t know if Chuck will stay clean, I can only hope.
For now Chuck is in a halfway house, working at Denny’s and looking for better work.
Driving the short eight blocks home, I couldn’t help but see how our geographical distance symbolized our miniscule physical differences as young men, while our metaphysical differences are immeasurable.
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March 3rd, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Great, great post Jason. I read it twice.
March 3rd, 2010 at 9:33 pm
My favorite post so far…get deep and reflect more! Or do we have to wait for the book for that? If this is a taste of the book, I can’t wait!
March 4th, 2010 at 10:25 am
you don’t need any help with that southern accent.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
AW JASON, that’s so nice.
March 5th, 2010 at 11:22 am
There is a class system in our country, and while the “American narrative would have you believe that climbing the ladder is more than possible, it is unlikely that Simon or Chuck, high school education at best, have any chance of ever seeing a job that pays more than $40,000. But I am not trying to convince anyone differently and I am not judging our differences with malice. I do believe for things to change, the public needs to be shaken from its idealistic dream world. It’s time to visit the true America.”
Chuck has made choices that have inhibited his earning potential. Lets not sugar coat that.
Certainly you’ve had more opportunities because of where/who you come from, but you’ve also made choices not to be out drunk with Hooters girls getting alchohol from closed liquor stores. You “chose” to finish high school. You “chose” to finish college. Perhaps your choices were heavily influenced by your parents & its likely that Chuck didn’t have that influence. But they were still choices.
Chuck’s choices don’t make him a bad guy. But don’t for a second forget that a large portion of his income potential cap are due to his choices.
My father-in-law grew up dirt poor on a farm in Kentucky. A combination of academic scholarships, the GI Bill, and working 80 hour weeks during the summers paid for his undergrad education. He chose those paths when there were many easier & more “entertaining” options for him.
My Dad grew up as one of 5 sons of a single mother. He chose to finish high school and worked through a few years of college. He chose to take the risk to start his own business which meant working a full time job plus the 2nd business for 5 years.
Your choice to find a creative opportunity will likely lead to some financial success if a book deal turns up for you. Congrats. That probably wouldn’t have happened if you’d gone drinking with hooters girls while you were in your 1st city.
March 5th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
The Denny’s Melting Pot.
You Denny’s was my Red Lobster when I was in College. The parallels are scary.
That is the beauty of working at a place like Denny’s. The work sucks so bad that you and your co-workers form a common bond even although they come from many different back grounds and life experiences. It is similar to that of a soldier and their platoon in boot camp.
Great post….
March 5th, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Don’t listen to the complainers, Jason. Working at Denny’s, and everything you experience there, are ABSOLUTELY part of the living on Craigslist project. The simple fact is that it was Craigslist that brought you to Denny’s, and to this experience you would never have had otherwise.
The same goes for every aspect of your “regular” life. This series would be a hell of a lot less interesting if all you did was talk about logging on to Craigslist and reading funny ads on Craigslist and getting weird responses from Craigslist …
I certainly wouldn’t have read this far if it hadn’t been for stories about the family you lived with, or the conditions at the art commune and your various travails there, and pretty much everything else that’s NOT about Craigslist per se.
The beauty and the heart of what you’re doing here, to me, is following paths and opening doors you find on Craigslist and ending up in places and doing things you’d never have gone to or done otherwise.
March 5th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
You can be so damn condescending.
March 8th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
I think that perhaps this is something you can work on as a writer/journalist/whatever you are intending to be – how to write about people like your coworker Chuck without imbuing your writing with your innocent shock/surprise at the class differences that exist, or without constantly pointing out that these people are doing their GED or were teenage mothers in a way that doesn’t come across as condescending (which I don’t think you truly are or have any intention of being, but it does read a bit like ‘Oh my god! People like this exist??’). A lot of great journalists and writers come from middle class backgrounds, and are able to mingle with people from varied background without really making the story about them so that the reader is introduced to the subject along with the writer’s own perspective and prejudices (these will always be present to some extent, but I think a skillful and experienced writer can successfully incorporate themselves into the subject’s world in a way which is enlightening to the reader, because the writer is merely a conduit between the subject and the reader, even if that’s an illusion, rather than very obviously the object through which the subject is being refracted). I don’t know if that makes any sense – what I’m basically saying is, why not start from a different place – so not, ‘What are the differences between myself and Chuck?’, but, ‘Who is Chuck, in his entirety, as a person, what is Chuck’s world, what does Chuck love, how does Chuck see himself?’ This would probably be more enlightening for the people reading in terms of pointing out any class differences than you explicitly presenting Chuck as an example of class differences, and without you coyly pointing out how you don’t really belong in his world. Why not try to belong, or at least understand, without judgement first, and really get into what you are trying to write about? Why not become better friends with Chuck and your Denny’s coworkers, and try to see their world for what it is? I think this would take away the sort of ‘condescending’ atmosphere from much of what you’ve written. And maybe treating each of these Craigslist experiences as a way to occupy and truly understand another world (which I think you did very successfully with the casual encounters woman) might improve the project. You’re doing a great job, but I think this is a perfect time to hone your approach as a journalist and writer.
March 9th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
I agree with the above advice.Your journey is still in the batting practice stage and you will need to watch which fork you’ll be taking.Because you will take one.
March 10th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
I think to really find out who someone is, you have to know the differences. I dont find what you write very condesenting…but maybe that is because I come from the middle class america and had oppertunities too. You are only expressing your true reactions and being honest with what you write.
March 22nd, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Hey!! Just heard about your journey.. Fun! Looking forward to following you.. Planning on doing any WEST COAST stuff?