I’ve never worked a day in my life as a lifeguard, but I imagine carrying endless trays of hot food through a crowded kitchen is much like dragging a limp body to shore. I was struggling with my own riptides this morning—messed up orders, lines at the computer and of course, penny-pinching customers.

Yup, it was free Grand Slam day at Denny’s—maybe you saw. This is the ad that Denny’s ran during the Super Bowl:

(Side Note: I didn’t know there was such an apocalyptic day as Free Grand Slam Day. I only found out because I saw this ad—imagine my surprise.)

It was also a tough day to be a Denny’s employee. The entire restaurant was packed from the beginning of the day to the minute I left at 3 P.M.

There were a few wonderful things about working Free Grand Slam Day. For one, everyone ordered the same exact thing. It was like that famous Henry Ford quote about the Model T, “It comes in any color, so long as it’s black.” For us, any breakfast was free, so long as it was the Grand Slam. Two eggs, two Sausage, two bacon and two pancakes? You got it. It made my job easy. “How do you like your eggs,” was the only question from me.

Of course, with the increase of traffic came an increase to my tip count. I came home with $78 in my pocket. Sadly, this was a lot less than many of my co-workers.

When I arrived to work at 7 A.M. I was informed that I would be replacing people while they went on break. This meant I would be without a section and at times would be waiting on tables whose tips wouldn’t go to me. I won’t complain, but I wish it wasn’t my day to run the rotation.

Of course, and I can’t really understand why, there were quite a few order mistakes. I mean, reading that eggs are supposed to be sunny-side up and delivering them scrambled just makes absolutely no sense.

Then again, people didn’t feel right complaining, even the one table that stiffed me on a tip. I mean, I have heard of cheap, but this left me speechless.

My bittersweet day turned sour when news came to me that the D.C. snowpocalypse had stranded my family. You see, they were supposed to fly out this evening to visit and now their entire trip is in jeopardy. I can only hope Washington airports will open and I will be able to see them soon.

That is all for now. I think I will crawl into a hole and sleep for seven months, thanks.

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